last updated 6 minutes ago
- hi!
- september has come around in no time at all, whilst simultaneously feeling 3 months long already.
- i am back on the climate grief side of things. i don't want to set anyone off who has a similar kind of brain to me so i won't get into the specifics, plus i am not a doomer so it's hard to take anything complacently anyway. i just feel very heavy.
- i was working on a novel for a lot of this month, but i think i won't finish my five thousand words in time for the competition i was preparing it for, so will ice it and focus on other things. it feels good to choose to not continue, whilst obviously being sad as well!
- i struggle a lot with finishing things. the novel pausing feels like a failure, but my ever elusive sense of self-compassion says its not perfectionism defeating me here if i have many other projects i'm also working on and trying to eke over the line, it's just sensible. things i want to do take time and energy and neither of those resources are infinite.
- on other projects, been doing livestreams on youtube as i haven't been able to get any of my video essay scripts "ready enough" to film them yet. it's been fun despite low numbers. i have learnt that you have to start talking immediately even if no one is about, and that reading out pre-prepared stuff works better for my style of streaming that researching live on stream. i owe myself a stream tonight or tomorrow as well, we'll see how we go.
- on research as a leisure activity, really enjoying learning more! at the moment, two topics. one, about sewing robots and why they are a hard technical problem, about sweatshop conditions and why business leaders all throughout the production chain aren't very motivated to improve them, and why robots can't solve the issue of terrible work in the way the companies pushing them claim. two, about dark skies, the harms of artificial/electric lighting, and the ways it harms and helps humans and other living entities. i had never thought about how throughout history, every human would have been able to see the milky way at night on a clear one. now 80% of people can't.
- someone described subsea cables as my activation word a few weeks ago and it made me happy. i really need to finish reading the undersea network and start on tubes.
- i feel like i have a bunch of blog posts/videos brewing about AI but unsure i want to wade in lol, especially with what i want to say. we'll see how i feel.
- what's your favourite technology? i said in technopaganism and a bit in letter to stella i don't really like the distinction between "high" and "low" so will accept anything from human-created fire to particle accelerators lol. i think i love cooking as an technology, it encompasses a lot of things (metalworking and other material craft and science! the initial danger and the transmitted knowledge of generations!). other than cooking i am of course partial to the internet, fibrecrafts of all kinds though machine sewing is my bestie, and the washing machine. refrigeration also super cool. i could babble about this for ages though as you can probably tell!
- eating: a weekly tuna mayo sandwich, as i am worried about heavy metals probably fairly, buttered toast, sticky tofu, my feelings.
- drinking: nowhere near enough water, london fog, lime squash with fizzy water.
- being merry: i have been struggling with this given the aforementioned climate grief, but i am enjoying music at the moment. new sylvan esso came out this week, check it out if you like indie pop.
- hope you had a good week. see you next time? 💟
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